How?
by Guyver Prime
Summary: How is the Man Of Steel able to do something that even he shouldn't be able to do?
1. Chapter 1

I would like to dedicate this to my best friend Sarah. She is my hero, my saviour and is the light that shows me the way.  
Thank you for everything thing you've done and everything you are. I love you.

**How?**

How am I doing this?

It's a reasonable question, simple enough too; it's just the answer that's complicated and troubling.

I shouldn't be doing this.

No. It's even more complex yet straight forward then that.

I shouldn't be _able_ to do this.

My entire body is screaming, crying out for help that will never come. Every cell, every fibre of my being is an inferno. I'm burning… it's excruciating. My mind is raging with thoughts as pain thunders through it. The agony is intense. I waste a split second begging for a release from it all before I manage to regain my resolve.

_Damn it Clark…focus on what must be done…_

All I need is a little bit more, I have to reach down and grab everything that's left.  
All I need is just a few more minutes. And then…

I begin to think about how it came to this. More questions weighing me down just as heavy as the weight I'm already barely lifting.  
So how did it come to this?  
I suppose it started with a woman, the woman.

… _Lois… do you even know how I feel? … I'll never see you again… I'm sorry… I …I love…_

But the pain in my heart tells me I'm wrong. I know that it started with a journey, one that took 5 years.

This journey was born of desire, of a longing for a family.

It was a journey born of guilt.

I journeyed to find something that I realised I had in fact left the thing I truly wanted behind me on Earth.

_Lois… what have I done? …_

I was gone for 5 long years.

The world changed.

I'm a fool for thinking that it wouldn't, that upon my return it would be exactly the same as when I left.

This is all my fault…

_**To be continued…**_


	2. When I met her

Hey everybody. Thanks for the reviews. I want to write this the best I can. Not just for you great people but once again to Sarah, this is for you beautiful.

And I'm slightly altering a certain event in Superman the Movie, telling it how I see it. Hope it makes sense!

**How?**

The moments I spend thinking about how it all came to this last an eternity. Each thought spanning a length of time that feels like hours, yet can only be seconds in the real world.

The physical weight of what I'm lifting, an abomination created by a madman, is immense but yet pales in comparison to the heavy burden in my heart and soul.

_This is all my fault…_

…_5 years ago…What did I do? … What have I done? …_

I'd loved her from the moment I met her. Everything about her drew me in. Nothing had ever pieced my skin, my armour before, not like this. But she got right in. I had no chance. I was in love with Lois Lane.

Then, as suddenly as I met her and that love blossomed, she died. Another casualty of a twisted plot perpetrated by a maniac, the same man who has threatened the people I love too many times. The same man who may have finally succeeded in killing me now.

I held her lifeless body in my arms. I didn't understand it, I couldn't handle it… I wouldn't accept it.My cry shook the heavens as I tore off into the cold sky, Jor-El's words already blocking my plan of action.

_It is forbidden for you to interfere with human history…_

I would do anything for her, she is my everything. For her, I would even defy a rule decreed by my father Jor-El. But it was the words of Jonathan Kent, my father here on Earth, that struck me most of all.

_One thing I do know son and that is you are here for a reason…_

Right then, that reason was her.

_It is forbidden for you to interfere with human history…_

Like hell.

I'm not the fastest man alive, that title belongs to another. But I know that by using the gravitational pull of the Earth, flying around it as at my full speed, I can create a slingshot effect, propelling my self to an astronomical speed. One so fast that time becomes almost pliable. And it is capable to travel back in time.

The theory sounds far fetched. But I did it. The speed was immense; I thought I was going to be torn apart.Even my perception of the world changed, it almost looked like the world was spinning backwards.

I travelled back to the point where I could stop the second missile, thus saving her life. I succeeded. Having saved her life, I put the man who caused her 'death' behind bars, perhaps foolishly thinking they would hold him. I had no idea then who, or what, I was dealing with.

So life continued, Lois Lane, in love with Superman but completely oblivious to Clark Kent when working together at the Daily Planet.

Little did I know, all that was about to change.

_Clark… he's never around when Superman's around…_

They say love is blind. But she started to see clearly. She started to see behind the act, behind the glasses.

She saw that Clark Kent… is Superman.


	3. I died to live

Sorry about the insane delay in updating this. Work, holidays and life means no time to do this which I hate as I want to complete this for my readers (you great people) and the person I dedicate this Fanfic to.

Sarah, you are… beautiful. I can't say anything more that does you justice or even begins to express what your friendship means to me. Thank you.

* * *

**How?**

I had wanted to tell her with all my heart but my mind knew the risks that would come with her knowing. They say love is blind but I'm not so sure, because she saw the real me behind my charade. She found out that Clark Kent is Superman.

The glasses where off, the secret revealed, nothing was left but the truth. And the truth was our love.

So it began then, with a dream, a selfish dream, a desire to live a normal life with the woman I loved. I wanted spend the rest of my life with Lois Lane, and I was going to do that as Clark Kent. But for that to happen, I had to make a sacrifice. One I made without thought or hesitation because of the love we shared.

…_Mother… I love her…_

I couldn't hold one human life above the others of the world, even if that one life was the woman I loved. Foolish, selfish, it could be described as many things. But I made the decision. I made the sacrifice. I stole a symbol of hope from the world. I committed a murder.

I killed Superman.

Exposing myself to the rays of the red sun of Krypton, I willingly had my powers stripped away, leaving only a being of mortal flesh and blood. All that was left was Clark Kent. Superman was gone forever. I didn't care, it was all for her. A life with Lois is all I wanted. A normal life, the one thing I couldn't have until then.

I felt the touch of her skin on mine, our bodies finally able to physically express our love. It was a moment filled with pure joy. I've flown around the world, soaring through the skies with the clouds beneath me. I've watched the sun setting behind the Earth whilst sitting on the surface of the moon.

But all of that was nothing compared to that moment. And it was going to be just the beginning, the beginning of a long and wondrous life together. Everything was so perfect. I had finally, finally, found my place. And it was with Lois.

Everything was perfect.

Until I saw the announcement… the President of the United States, begging, pleading for the man I'd killed…

His voice speaking for the entire world…

The world was crying out for a hero… for a saviour… for Superman.

_They told me… I just didn't listen…_

Because I had murdered Superman, the world was vulnerable and all the people of Earth where to live under the rule of one man, to bow to his dominance.

They where to kneel before him…

Kneel… before Zod.


	4. My fathers enemy

Hello all! I'm sorry about the late update but you know it's a mad life. I suppose that's what makes it fun.

And as always, Sarah, the Deviant Angel with the Beautiful Candyheart, this is for you. Goldfish bowl X

**How?**

* * *

******  
**

It was over.

As suddenly as my new life had begun, it had come to an end. In one instant, the one thing I ever wanted, a normal life with the woman I love, a perfect future together, was shattered by the darkest remnant of Krypton's' past.

_I hereby abdicate all authority and control over this planet, to General Zod…_

General Zod and his two Kryptonian criminal cohorts, Non and Ursa, had committed crimes and acts of treason against the people of Krypton. Zod saw himself ruler and attempted to seize control by any means necessary. They where caught and stood trial, a trial that found them deemed guilty by all members of the council, with one vote deciding.

And the vote had to be unanimous.

The final vote was that of my father Jor-El.

_You alone will condemn us if you wish. And you alone will be held responsible by me._

My father voted guilty.

_You will bow down before me! Both you, and one day, your heirs!_

Krypton did not have a death penalty, so they where instead banished to the Phantom Zone, a 'prison', another dimension where they would be trapped for all eternity.

But no prison is infallible.

The archives in the Fortress warned of a possibility, that a nuclear explosion may fracture the Phantom Zone and allow them to escape. I don't know how but they where free. Free from imprisonment, and powered by the yellow sun, they had come to Earth… to rule.

Agonizing pain tears me away from my memories, thrusting me right back into the nightmare present. Jagged rocks break away from the landmass as I continue lifting it towards the heavens. I can feel the radiation pouring through it and into my body.

I take a deep breath to steady myself and lose my grip for a split second. I quickly reposition myself, the strain of the heavy burden returning to my entire body.

How much longer? How much more can I take?

_Keep going Clark…_

I hear a faint noise, it should be louder but the rocks breaking away, the crashing of the sea below and the storms combined with my weakened state have left everything muffled. I concentrate on the noises origin and as it slowly comes into focus I realize what it is.

A helicopter.

Time freezes for what feels like an eternity. We shouldn't be able to see each other, what with the rocks breaking away and the contour of the landmass' base, but for a split second, we can.

I look straight at the chopper and deep into the soulless eyes of the pilot, who looks right back at me.

I see a look of hatred, of anger and rage, the look of a man who is furious that his plans will once again fail because of me.

Looking into my eyes he knows exactly what I'm thinking, he knows my anger, my loss and my pain. He knows exactly what I'm thinking.

_This isn't over Luthor…_


End file.
